Building Potential.

Voices in my mind control me, insult, blackmail, make me do things that harm me.

... they can be very persuasive in telling that if i won't obey i won't experience Enlightened Love; they use other dirty tricks as well.

i play computer games, i buy things i do not use.

... insights told me that it's for building potential of others - so they can shine.

... but it destroys me, ruins my life.

... voices in my mind told me that i was 'potentialist' when i suffered playing too much of computer games, and now i am 'potentionalist' - someone higher in 'potential pyramid' ranks but still i feel abused.

... i feel abused also in other ways, inisghts told me that i am in many of 'potential building pyramids'.

... i think this is a result of meditation done improperly, of sectarian practices and abuses.

... why i have to give so much for others, and others do not care?

... i have so much of potential, but my mind denies me realization.

... if this won't change soon enough, i will suicide.

Not Realized Potential & a Curse.

i think i have too much of not realized potential.

... potential realization is not the same as potential development.

... i need to realize potential in Buddhism, Esoterics, Art & Science.

... Art includes Art of Love, Art of Dharma, Art of Magick, Martial Arts, Art of Dying, Beautiful Art, and more.

i think wishes of many, as well as harmful practices, caused a lot of money spendings on my side.

i have a lot of books, dvds, and other tools - yet my mind states stop me from realizing all of this potential.

i had to do something, so i cursed those responsible - not only in our Sangha - while allowing to benefit, to turn curse into a blessing, as well.

i said 'six' in my mind, with intent to use Marbas ability to cause illness, mental & other ilness in this case.

when - by wishes and/or beneficial practices - beings allow me to realize potential, instead of just making me to spend money to develop potential, this curse will transform to a blessing, and my way will benefit more those who care that way, and - most importantly - it will protect them from illness, either mental or other.

i think as time progress, i'll keep repeating & developing this practice, sooner or later will use my wand with healing / harming properties, as well.

... for details, feel free to look:
- Blessings, Curses, Transformations,
- Numerology, Blessings & Curses,
- Magick of Curses & Diseases,
- Wands,
- Magic Tools: Elements, Gender & other Aspects.