.. my MtGO cards decks went through many upgrades, and this is seriously expensive game.
... insights tell me that a lot of reckless expenses like buying these cards and more - are caused by improper meditation in too greedy sangha.
... i have mental obstacles with paying fees as apartment, debts etc, as well.
... this might lead me to serious troubles in future, near or far.
i meditated with compassion & open heart, with other people in Sangha.
i suspect too many, but not everyone, had greedy & ignorant wishes, meditated improperly with me.
i suspect that my subtle interaction affected my mind deeply, their wishes fell into my subconscious mind, and surface now - putting me into troubles.
These insights point to a too sectarian woman who accelerated my insanity by abusing occult teachings on me, as onw of many causes,
... perhaps strongest cause of my insanity & other troubles.
My insanity resulted from 'a miracle' performed on me, 'to display' - i felt paralysis heat & cold in turns as they talked about refrigerators, ovens, microwaves etc.
it was a lesson not without benefits, i think - but it has many drawbacks that ruin my life in past and now.
... if/when my situation will improve, i'll assess if this lesson is beneficial. for now it's too many troubles with a question mark - i don't know if i'll benefit or be destroyed.
... mtgo cards can be sold for money, but it's still a lot of money loss.
... i was forced by my thoughts to do this in past as well, then to spend recklessly on expensive pizza & computer game.
... then i was forced by thoughts to buy these cards again, more epensively.
... i feel tarnished & abused, not only financially.
... i think Sangha should be more considerate with their wishes & meditations.
(EN) in my mind i often hear voices of Mira Boboli that guide me for many expenses - often esoterics & magic related, including the expensive m:tgo cards.
ReplyDeletei am annoyed.
these voices told me that i won't have to buy too many cards nor play, that only black lotus and a little of collection will be sufficient.
then they changed mind and goaded me to buy 'Power 9' - nine most powerful & expensive m:tgo cards, promising that i won't have to buy dual lands.
had to buy many more other cards, as well, playing as well.
today had to complete buying freakingly expensive dual lands, again promise broken.
... there are lot more of troubles, including being hurried and filling address on order form wrongly - money lost.
i do not know if it's truly Mira Boboli who meditated improperly, if it's not my delusions, my imagination.
i am in financial troubles, and with my mind states have troubles working.
we'll see whether i'll lose apartment because of my mind.
... before meditation i had no such troubles, i spent less than i earned.
(EN) do i wish to accuse Mira Boboli, Michał Szwejkowski with his wife, and 'Yoda'?
ReplyDeletei prefer to not form formal accusations when i am not sure - so no.
but i am facing financial ruin soon, so i need to share my doubts, letting wiser than me react as they wish - or not react, as they wish.
perhaps They will react, perhaps not.
i am not accusing anyone formally, only my own mind i do accuse, formally, so far.
(EN) more of voices & insights appear in mind, hinting that Mira Boboli & Karolina Boboli are also causes of me being unable to find employment & earn money - as when i am unemployed, i have time & mind to do various services that help them, for example creating art or technology for free.
ReplyDelete