After meditating and taking Refuge in Lama Ole Nydahl, my mind started to be more sensitive.
Then one day in a Warsaw Buddhist Center they told me they want to show me something.
... then i've heard Mira Boboli's voice - 'fry, don't wait' / pl: 'wysmażyć, nie czekać' /.
Then people started to talk about microwaves, ovens, fridges etc - and i felt heat and cold in turn, felt paralysis, panicked, turned more insane than i was until that moment.
Finally Sangha let me go and told me that they wish me to return.
Soon after i was in Psychiatric Hospital - fed with medicines that dumbed me down ... i could barely think, felt fear ... but voices went back into subconsciousness.
After many years i returned to Warsaw Buddhist Center, desperately seeking Enlightened Love - this need was cause of overcoming fear.
Now, after many years i can think better and faster, but there are voices still.
Some of these voices are beneficial - i call them insights, others are harmful, i call them mental ilness symptoms.
Mental Illness symptoms are insidious, sometimes i don't control myself because of these, sometimes they just blackmail me - telling that if i won't obey, my love-wish won't be realized.
i do many stupid things because of the symptoms.
Recently there are symptoms appearing as presence or voice of Michał Szwejkowski, wishing me to spend money and to do things that harm me.
i've removed my Silver Signet Ring with Loving Eyes Mantra engraved from my finger - and this caused symptoms to lessen.
Buddha disadvised meditation when someone has mental illness problems, i read.
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