... it is said that a true warrior is measured not by how many times he or she falls, but by how many times he or she stands up.
In Buddhism we believe that what occurs in mind, develops later in speech and actions.
... i have a lot of self-destructive thoughts in mind, and i try to oppose worst with mantras and wishes.
When unopposed, these thoughts ruin one's life.
... i think it's how karma works.
... it is also true that people fear changes, of unknown that these changes bring ... - so when one tries to change himself or herself for better - parts of one's self oppose - in my case this takes form of in-mind self-slander and self-destructive auto-aggression.
... i hope that i'll find causes and conditions of my ego's destructive self-behavior and stop them, before i am too old to experience love in my middle age.
Term 'empty' i understand as 'dependent on conditions', 'non-permanent'.
... as years pass, i lose hope for living fairly normal life, i lose hope for experiencing enlightened love.
... i am trying to 'get up', to make my life better - for benefit of me and others - but feel beaten and slandered by my own mind instead.
... i think i need to understand my ego, my self - and counter worst parts of it with mantras and wishes.
Then hopefully my life will change for better.
Thankfully one's reality is not fixed still, thankfully we can change ourselves and the world in result as well.
What we fear - the Changing Nature of Reality - mean that we can change for better and improve our and our friends' lives - even if we are never prepared for unknown dangers that changes bring.
... i hope this brings us hope.
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