i am losing hope of keeping my apartment, i am getting more & more broke as i am being consumed by needs to serve ideas instead of caring for my own needs.
Perhaps i'll lose apartment & land on the streets.
But there's something that gives me hope anyway.
Feliks Dzierżyński used misunderstood people, who were neglected by society & friends, recruited them to his powerful secret police, security & intelligence network.
i am talented & skilled programmer, smart as well - i think i can learn hacking, martial arts, perhaps even shooting & other of the intelligence skills in short enough time to be useful, at least a little. i learn Art & Psychology quickly as well, this can be used in the Manipulation & Propaganda. My father was Video Camera Operator in Polish TV, but he had fault - he admired Adolf Hitler & Goebbels too much. i am not Nazi nor Fascist.
i am disciplined to my ideas, and these do not exclude countering enemies of Poland, of Europe, of States, of Israel, ... - i am determined to fight against Terrorist & Inquisition threats, as well.
i am mentally ill, but i can efficiently & quickly be prepared by a psychologist for a task, anyway. i know how to talk & cooperate with them.
Perhaps history will repeat itself and i'll rise myself from trash & streets, as an Intelligence recruit.
i hope i won't need, but if neccessity forces me to do so, and if opportunity arises - i will do so.
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