'Not speaking foolishly or coarsely
Gossip may be entertaining, but it leaks one's power and creates negative feedback in the mind. This also includes rumors, in which no protective or preventative information is communicated and listeners discern a hint of pleasure at someone else's expense from the speaker.
If one engages in gossip, then eventually one will hear mixed stories about oneself that will shake other people's confidence, and the whole affair can become very unpleasant and time-consuming. Not only is one's partner's or friends' time, which could have been used for something meaningful, wasted, in the long run they will no longer take one seriously. In addition, uncertainty and increasing distance can develop because others may easily assume that they will also be talked about behind their backs.
"Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac," said the LSD psychologist Timothey Leary. Every partner will be inspired by beyond-personal, wise views or meaningful exchange. Warmhearted, thoughtful conversations also create the framework for later succesful discussions, because making suggestions and expressing wishes is more productive than making accusations. Interesting and honest echanges create closeness and are a main basis for long-lasting relationships.'
-- 'Buddha & Love' by Lama Ole Nydahl.
About Slander, one of the Harmful Acts on the Speech Level.
'Slander should especially be avoided, because its cause is anger. To talk negatively about others behind their backs, unless they are public persons or one speaks to make others aware of dangerous example to their own lives, means taking part in others' negativity. It also destroys friendships and splits people up. Such behavior is self-defeating. Nothing turns against oneself faster than harmful words.'
-- 'The Way Things Are' by Lama Ole Nydahl.