i feared for long time, feared to speak as well.
now i think my understanding grew past fear & regrets, now i think that my wisdom & compassion lets me share my experiences in a sane form, without slanders, for benefit of all.
... it is a Buddhist Lesson that disturbing feelings - as fear or regret for example - dissipate after one recognizes their true nature, afterall.
Fear & Warnings.
when i had mental & life crisis, i went to a Stupa House Buddhist Center to meditate & learn, to meet new Friends as well.
i was both seduced & afraid, as company was great, yet the Catholic Church warned about Sects in Media as hell.
i think people fear of unknown & danger, especially when it's seductive & fascinating as well.
Church warned mostly about most dangerous sectarian weapon 'Freezing & Heating', but also of other ways.
with Meditation my mind opened, i understood & confronted my ego as well - i struggle with my ego still.
after a first few months meditators displayed me 'Heating & Freezing' method, it was a very strong experience.
at first, i thought it was sectarian weapon used against me, for my errors & sins, or a display of power at least - i wasn't sure which in fact.
i landed in a Mental Hospital afterwards, had about 5 years of bad-karma break.
then i came to meditate again, risked boldly as i felt that my life has no meaning without Enlightened Love; i was prepared to die, i was prepared to suffer with a Sect as in hell for a time - for a Love.
i met a young Buddhist woman during one of Buddhist Lectures, we meditated together, i fell in Love with her.
after a little practice i thought that 'Heating & Freezing' was a purifying experience, not a sectarian weapon - just a 'karmic backslash' instead.
now, after years, i think it's both a warning, a purifying experience, a mystical weapon use, as well as inspiration, transmissions of methods as well.
i am denied Meditation at a Buddhist Center, now i think i understand why - even if at first i felt i was uncaringly 'ditched away to die alone'.
... Buddhist Lessons are Precious, they cost, mostly our time of a support & help; if i stayed too long the price would be too great - this would make me die.
also i understand that differing lessons are for different beings, too many of abstract lessons lead to confusion & time waste, as well as to stupidity at that.
also i know that Meditation is a Powerful Method that 'digs' bad karma from subconsciousness, one has to purify it as well.
if i faced too much of bad karma at once, it would be too much ... too many purifying experiences, too many of pains.
purifying experiences are not always painful however.
before warning of 'Heating & Freezing' i felt i committed karmic errors & sins.
i was afraid that i transgressed too much, that i knew too much of their 'Evil Secrets', that a Sect will not let me go because of the danger i pose, as well as because of my sins.
in fact i never was a threat, and my knowledge was very shallow as well.
now i share, hoping it will Protect, both Buddhism, as well as their so-called 'Victims', sparing them both lost time.
it's not a slander, i hope, it's a Honest Truth form that explains in simple words, it's aim is to bring together people as well.
What is a Sect?
i think a sect is a group of religious protest, a group that separates.
for more, see if You wish: About Sects, Sects.
OM MANI PEME HUNG
Namaste, as well.