Years ago i had low self-esteem, bad manners, knew nothing beside computer programming & a little of martial arts, was ugly & fat - i didn't care for myself, had troubles befriending & helping others - was mostly focused for egoistic, personal gain.
Then when desperate, turned to Buddhism for help & meditated, got inspired for self-development for benefit of all beings. i needed that badly & still need.
Then read Lama Ole Nydahl's book that 'most convincing is Human Progress' & decided to try to be a living proof of Buddhism's success where others failed.
Time of Purifications, Time of Service, Time of the Present.
Years of following self-improvement with dedication wish are harsh. Lot of purifications - mostly painful, lot of mental problems, troubles with finding work & living self-responsibly.
But there were successes as well - i got more open hearted to others & myself, i grew in wisdom & understanding of human ways, i am trying to live the Noble life of a Bodhisattva.
Now i look as on image:
... it's far better than before.
i am not so shy, i learned many ways, developed manners & speech, developed compassion, aspirations & dedication.
My mental problems are not so severe anymore, i got many insights that help me to gather myself, to find work, to live self-responsibly.
i can feel blessings flowing as i try to help.
i hope positive trends continue & grow in power, to fulfill my wish to be an example & inspiration for others, to be an example & inspiration of how someone suicidal, with severe problems can recover & be a happy, succesful human.
i have hope & feel happiness often, i feel i found the meaning in my life. Lama Ole gave me practice for that, it seems it starts to be a success, even if it involves many years of purification & pain.
So far i think Buddhism helps.
May all beings have happines and causes of happiness,
May they be free from suffering and the cause of suffering,
May they always experience true happiness, which is totally free from suffering,
May they remain in the great equanimity, which is beyond attachment and aversion.
OM MAHAKALAYE SOHA
OM VAIROCHANA OM
OM AKSHOBHYA HUM
OM RATNASAMBHAVA TRAM
OM AMITABHA HRIH
OM AMOGHASIDDHI AH
OM MANI PEME HUNG
Namaste, blessed be.