Voices in my mind control me, insult, blackmail, make me do things that harm me.
... they can be very persuasive in telling that if i won't obey i won't experience Enlightened Love; they use other dirty tricks as well.
i play computer games, i buy things i do not use.
... insights told me that it's for building potential of others - so they can shine.
... but it destroys me, ruins my life.
... voices in my mind told me that i was 'potentialist' when i suffered playing too much of computer games, and now i am 'potentionalist' - someone higher in 'potential pyramid' ranks but still i feel abused.
... i feel abused also in other ways, inisghts told me that i am in many of 'potential building pyramids'.
... i think this is a result of meditation done improperly, of sectarian practices and abuses.
... why i have to give so much for others, and others do not care?
... i have so much of potential, but my mind denies me realization.
... if this won't change soon enough, i will suicide.
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